Thursday, July 05, 2007

A little bit ugly

Dear Walmart Customer,

I saw you coming and knew you would be trouble. I tried to avoid you, to duck into the next aisle so that I could get out of your way. But alas, you saw that coming and decided to do what any person in a riding shopping cart would do. You cut me off. And then gave me a very nasty look. I would of told you a few things, like that seat was not big enough for your rump since half of it was hanging off the left side, or that walking behind a cart even a few times a month would have helped that situation, but my son was with me and I did not want him to see the ugly side of mommy. Not yet anyways. He is still young and innocent. Anyways, you would remember me as the one that waved you on after you got right in front of my cart and then stopped. Stopped to look at me with that nasty look. I waved you on. I really had no choice but I thought it would show that I was submitting to the situation. Even though I had the right of way. You were making a left hand turn. I, a right. It has been a while since drivers education, but I am sure that I had the right of way. And I realize this was not a street we were on, just an aisle in Walmart, but surely the same rules apply? It just makes sense.
After I waved you on and you completed your illigal turn, you stopped once more. Leaving me in a very sticky predicament. You see, you and I were not the only ones in that store this afternoon. There were other people. And I think that they all might of been right behind me. Waiting. We were all waiting. For you to grab your cheez-its or chips ahoy or whatever you were looking at so intently. And it was not like you thought ahead and were right next to the shelf so that I could go around you. No, no, you had to be right in the middle of the aisle and lean over to the shelf to see your many choices. Once you decided there was nothing there you wanted, you proceed at a snails pace down the aisle. Right in the middle of it. And had it not been for your left butt cheek hanging off the motorized cart, I might of been able to get around you. It would of been tight, but then we would of just gone our seperate ways. As soon as you got far enough down the aisle which took you about 10 minutes, I pulled a U-turn and got the heck out of there. My son had aged a year in that one little section of Walmart. I went to go check out. I was standing there in line, waiting to load my items. Now I know you have to remember me now, I was the one you ran into. Ran into with that stupid motorized shopping cart. And before I turned around, I knew. I knew it was you. Call it intuition, call it whatever you want. I knew it was you that had hit me. And obviously you found that gas on that bad boy, because you must of been doing 50 mph when you hit me. And there was that nasty look again. Like I had jumped out in front of you! You didn't apologize. Didn't even look sorry. You did what was probably the smartest thing you have ever done in your life. You backed that thing up and went and found another check stand. Because if you had continued to sit there and give me that look, I would have shown my son a side of mommy he has never seen. I took my beet red, breathing fire, about to explode self to the car and prayed that you had not driven to walmart. Because the only thing I could think of that is scarier than you on a motorized cart, would be you in a car.


1 comment:

MamaGeph said...

See? This is why you have to have a special permit to carry a concealed weapon...