You have to keep a sense of humor

Warning:
This post is about bodily functions. If you do not think that you can handle a topic based on this, please scroll down and enjoy some of my other poopless posts. Thank you.

Poor Duke was up last night with diarrhea. And that means I was too. Every 30 minutes I had to take that dog outside so he could blow brown water out of his hiney. By 5 am I was tired. So when I put him back in his crate I must not of latched it properly because at 5:22, I was awoken to a lot of noise in my bedroom. Normally Tela is not that loud, so I opened my eyes and found Duke in my face. I flew out of bed to see what he had ruined in 22 minutes. I turned on the light and had to laugh so that I would not cry. He had gone to the bathroom and not in an easy to clean up way, all over the place. So I put him away and got the Natures Miracle. I scrubbed and wiped and sanitized for the next 30 minutes. As I lay my head back down to get a few more minutes of much needed sleep, Bear lets me know he is awake by letting out a wail. So my day that really never ended yesterday had started again.
This morning, Duke has made it outside for the most part, we did have an incident in the kitchen but that was an easy clean up and doesn't really count. So I took a nice deep breath and let go of the night before and jinxed the heck out of myself. Not 2 minutes later, I changed Bears diaper and let him run around naked for a minute. He ran straight into the hall, squatted and pooped and peed right there. I have a feeling that this subject is what my day is going to be centered around. Pray for me please.

If we didn't have dogs...

he wouldn't have been able to get into these messes:

I've got my comb and my ball, let's go.

My little political billboard

An itty bitty heart attack

Duke and Tela were on the front porch enjoying some bones while I unloaded the dishwasher. They both can get very protective of thier bones so I was listening for any outbreaks. All of a sudden I heard Duke scream and wail like never before. I thought it was strange that I didn't hear Tela at all, just Duke making a ruckus but if I went by the severity of his screams, Tela was ripping his head off.
So I jumped over the dishwasher and Bear and sprinted out to the front porch to find Duke with his head in the corner and Tela across the porch. I could not get that dog settled down, he kept screaming like he was being tortured, but I couldn't see anything wrong with him. After about 2 minutes of me trying to calm him down, he turned and looked at me. I could not help but laugh. The dumb dog had gone and stuck his face in cobwebs and he was covered. I wiped them off and he finally settled down but is still wiping his face on everything. I think that my heart has finally gone back to a normal BPM.

Camping pictures

Excited about camping

Bear and Auntie

Catching up on sleep from the night before while we packed up...

It would of been easier

to just take my lawn mower and walk it the 1 mile to the gas station. I don't know how I made such a huge mess of it but I did. All I had to do was fill up a 2 gallon gas can. I ended up with about 5 gallons on the cement 1 in the can and about 3 on me. So at 3 bucks a gallon, that is just great. This is why women don't mow the lawn.

Camping. Kind of.

I write this(in my head) to the glow of... my dashboard. You thought I was going to say campfire didn't you. You hear the word camp you think campfire right? Well that is not how our camping trip went. I will tell you the story of how I came to be in my car at 3 in the morning with nothing to do but write this.
We went camping with my sister and her husband and their dog-child Lexi. Everything was fine. Bear didn't jump in the fire(one of my big fears) Tela didn't eat Lexi(another fear) and we were having a good time. Until bed time. About 10:30 I think we decided to turn in. At this point Bear had had a nap at 8 and was doing okay. So okay he didn't want to go to bed. So he cried. And cried. And cried. I really though they were going to kick us out and ask us to go home because he was disturbing everyone else. Finally he got to sleep but woke up every hour crying. I was getting very frustrated. Daddy was sleeping through all of this and taking most of the blanket. So I was cold, tired and VERY agitated. Finally at 2am Bear had fire diarrhea and screamed big time. I changed his diaper as fast as I could under the blanket and hooked him up hoping that would help calm him back to sleep. No. It did not. So at 2:30, I decided I had had enough camping and I was going home. I grabbed the car keys and Bear and headed for the car. When we got to the car I decided I should probably change his diaper in the light of the bathroom and make sure I got all the diarrhea off. So there we headed. I got to the bathroom and changed the diaper and he finally calmed down. I thought hey, maybe we can stay camping. As we walked back to the campsite though, I pointed out to Bear all of the beautiful stars in the sky. To which he replied in his biggest yelling voice, "Sdars! Sdars!" And kept yelling about the sdars pointing up at them. So I no longer thought that staying there was a good idea since my yelling son would have caused a camp wide riot. I loaded him up in the car hoping that the car ride would put him to sleep.
As I drove out of the camp grounds I felt like I was in a scary movie. You know that 2 foot layer of fog that hangs just above the ground? I was driving through that. I don't watch scary movies for this reason right here. I have the most wonderfully active imagination. I knew that the thing from Jeepers Creepers(the last scary movie I watched 4 years ago) was going to get me. So as I drove through the middle of nowhere with my son singing about balls and Duke in the back seat, I was watching the night sky waiting for the Jeepers Creepers guy to fly down and kill us. I was driving about 20 under the speed limit too because I was also waiting for a deer to leap out in front of the Xterra. I drove around for 2 more hours waiting for the Bear to go to sleep. Bear would drift in and out teasing me. I also realized at some point in here that I had been driving around with my bullet lights on this entire time and that was why oncoming cars kept honking at me. I played with the thought of just going home and then coming back in the morning but that would of given him 2 hours of sleep before we had to start back. So around I drove, eating tootsie rolls and sun chips. Finally(I have used this word quite a bit in writing this) he fell asleep for good. It was 5:30 in the morning. I headed back to camp and parked in the parking lot. I slept for 30 minutes until Bear decided it was time to wake up for the day. I drove to the camp site, got out, walked to the tent, woke up Daddy, who had gotten a whole night of sleep because he could sleep through a tornado, handed him the baby, said "its your turn," and crawled into my sleeping bag and went to sleep.
The morals of this story are this:
-1 year olds are too young to camp
-always keep tootsie rolls and sun chips in your front seat
-and the Jeepers Creepers guy may not have attacked us that night, but that does not mean he doesn't exist.