I was worried that with out that "manly" influence in Bears life every day that he would turn out kind of girly. It has been almost 7 months now that it has been just the Bear and me and I really thought I was doing a good job of being both mom and dad and providing the loving nurturing side and the "suck it up kid" side. Until today. First, while I was cutting the grass (with scissors of course) I look up to the porch to see Bear in tears. I stopped cutting and went up to see what was wrong. In between sobs I got a "flowers bye-bye!" He had loved standing at the kitchen window looking at the flowers every day. Yes that's how long my grass was. I almost lost Tela when she went out the bathroom last night so I decided it was time for a grass cut.
Then, after the lawn was done, I brought him out to play in the grass and play on his slide. There was a little bit of dirt on his slide, it is an outdoor toy, and all he would do was stand there shaking his head adamantly saying "Oh no! Oh no!" and refused to go on the toy. I even tried to brush it off with my hand to show him that a little dirt would not hurt his little hand. He would not go on it until it was completely dirt free.
Next, while I was sitting on the steps watching him run around, I saw a snail and thought he would get a kick out of it. Heck I used to eat them when I was a kid. I called him over and showed him the snail, and touched it, and asked him to do the same. He looked at me like I was nuts, said "no thank you mommy," and ran away to play on his clean slide.
And the final straw that convinces me that I am not manning him up enough happened tonight while I was preparing dinner. A fly had gotten in the house and was zipping around the kitchen. I figured I would just deal with him later after I got some food in our tummies. Bear was standing there watching me when he noticed the fly across the kitchen. I thought he was going to flip his lid. He jumped in the air and started screaming. He bolted from the kitchen and refused to come back in. He stood there at the entry watching the fly and if he came with in five feet of Bear, he would start screaming and jumping around. I wasn't sure what to do. Part of me wanted to comfort him and tell him it was okay, but I also didn't want to reenforce his fear. So I started making a big ruckus chasing the fly around being silly. He did not think this was funny. So I just decided to kill the darn fly and be done with it.
I guess I need to step up the "manly" part of his upbringing.
Day of searching for Adoption Records
6 years ago
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