In the Beginning

I am not quite sure why I am doing this. Or even if I will give out the address to anyone. I am by no means "computer literate." I am suprised I even got this far.

I think I am doing this for all of the out of town family. So that they can look in on our life and see how the Bear is growing and changing.

It has happened so fast. It seems like yesterday I was taking Papa Bear back to the airport so that he could fly into some 3rd world country to meet the boat. I had a 6 day old sitting next to me. The only thoughts running through my head centered around "how in the world am I going to do this by myself." As it was I didn't bathe the poor child for another week because I was too scared. But we made it through. I had forgotten how hard it was until I read back in a journal I have been keeping for him. Its funny how the bad moments just kind of fade away. I remember the good things. The funny sleeping sounds, the first smile, the first time he looked up at me while I was nursing him. Aaahhhh. I want to go in and wake him up right now just so I can look at him. But that would be opening a can of worms I just put away for the night. I love The Bear, but mommas need their time too. I was telling Papa Bear today that God created naps not for little ones to rejuvinate, but for parents to have some time to get things done around the house. I swear that if I did not have those 2 hours a day I would go insane. As it is right at this moment, my living room looks like a laundromat blew up and my kitchen looks like I am opening a grocery store. Went grocery shopping today and still haven't found the time or the space to put most things away. The cold stuff got shoved into the fridge and freezer with promises of organizing it later as I closed the door. Yeah right. I have a feeling the boxed stuff will never find a home but will just sit there until I use it in a meal. (Side note: Am I the only one that has really unorganized cupboards? I go into my friends houses and I always wonder what it is like behind those closed doors. Do they dread having to open them with guests in the house like I do?)

I am still trying to get caught up on the laundry from our trip. We were only gone for 5 days but I think we brought all of our wardrobes. Well not Papa Bear, he got about a 1' by 6'' spot in a suitcase that he brought with him on Friday. The rest was for The Bear and me. Babies come with so much stuff!

Papa Bear commented to me the other day that The Bear is slowly taking over our house. He started out in his room, then a small swing in the corner of the living room, then some toys and a swing, then the swing left and a play pin and more toys and books took its place. I had to move all the furniture so that he had enough space for his things.

Papa Bear wants a bigger house if we have anymore. I don't. How much more space can another kiddo take up? We have all the toys and clothes already. All I really need is a place for Eli or Johanna to sleep. Those are the names I have chosen. Papa Bear hates them. I do not care. I have two arguments I use to defend them. First and most importantly, I do all the work. Lets face it. He has one night of contribution and I have 10 months. Plus labor. I don't care if you do it naturally or have a C section. Neither one is getting licked by kittens. So I win there. Second, his last name is so stinking long! I figure that is his contribution to the name. I should be able to pick a first and middle name that has as many letters so that we both have a 50/50 say in the name of the baby. So as long as I stay within an 11 letter combo, we are even!

I think that these are very strong and valid points. He does not. He says that he is going to wait until I am all doped up sign the birth cert whatever he feels and I won't get a say in it at all. I say that he will not be invited to the birth at all. No matter what, I am going to win. I always do and always will.