Can I get some cheese?

Ever since we got back from California, there has been a monster in Bears room. At first I tried talking him out of it. "There is no monster." We prayed about it. Then I thought maybe if we make it into something fun, he wouldn't be afraid at night. So I made him tell me what it looks like. It is blonde with a mustache. He plays with it during the day. Tells me what it says to him. Can even point it out when it is in the room. He has showed me where he sleeps back in the corner of the closet. He laughs with it during the day. But as soon as bed time comes, he freaks out. I mean throw a fit scream to high heaven upset. It takes me two hours to get him calmed down and in bed. I have tried everything.
Nightlights, music, taking the slide off the bed so the monster cannot get up, covered the ladder for the same reason, put a GI Joe at the ladder to protect him, I went into the closet with a fake gun and shot the monster(Bear informed me that I missed and the monster could not be shot and was laughing at me) I gave him a picture of me to sleep with. I usually have to stay in his room with him until he passes out from exhaustion.
He finally gets to sleep and then usually wakes up a few hours later screaming bloody murder with leg/foot cramps. I think he is on a growth spurt again and has to be rubbed down and stretched out.
By the time I get him settled down and I get my mind turned off, she is waking up for her early morning breakfast. I can usually get her back to sleep thank goodness.
I do not know what I was thinking going back to school. Bug has decided yesterday that she has become an avid reader. So she brings me book after book and wants to sit in my lap. I am so excited that she is finally taking a love for books, but it is kind of bad timing. I don't know if she is teething, I do not see anything, but she just wants to be on me. And has stood there and screamed at me nonstop everytime I picked up a school book to read today.
I don't know when I am going to do this school work. Right now, all I want to do is sit in a corner and cry right along with Bug.